July 2008

It's mid July now and I'm stalling.....can I afford this? Do I deserve it, a rebuilt house? How extensive is the damage? We can't know until the dry wall is pulled down.  Unknown, I am living with the unknown, scrutinizing my still clothed wall. Not wanting to remove one thing. Not wanting to disturb the illusion.  Ignoring the piles of not-fairy dust or are these ants fairies of a different sort?

I waffle, I delay, I pray, I sit and worry, I wait, I wish, I discuss, I cry.  I come to grips with the facts.....my sweet fairy house is falling down around me.  I fill out the application for the much bigger loan than I want to be responsible for, but I will be.

Nick knows how to speak fairy, sturdy fairy.  The roof will be raised with wings that shed snow and rain with out a thought.  It's the perfect square of 24 x24 that allows this water shedding design to work.  Cross-gabled it's called in architectural  terms.  At the peak a star is formed by the rafters all coming together to form a single point.  The windows will be new, sealed and double pained with a fairy emerald green grill on each one. The shingles are emerald green too, a mix with black just like you would expect on a mossy home in the woods. 

Yes, Nick is in touch with his fairy roots and somehow we understand we are building a church in the woods not a house at all.  I will be a temporary guest until I pass on to the ethereal plane, joining my fairy and angel friends with my own set of wings.  Until then I will be a servant, bringing people to the woods so they can forget about their humanness for a bit and remember how to play in the woods again and commune with the same freedom of forest fairy sprites that live in the trees.

But I am ahead of myself........that is the vision, and all of me is dedicated to it........I think.....but first the tear down.......how much can be saved?